Posts Tagged ‘love’


Posted: December 4, 2008 in ego, love, random-nes
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

My cabin’s located at the top end of the unmoving cruise. It’s dark. My window’s open. There’s nothing to see outside but my eyes can’t stop rolling. The stars were covered with mist created by the ocean waves slapping the side of the boat. It’s cold, really cold. I wanted to close the window but I wouldn’t want to cut the connection between the ocean, the sky, the wind, the darkness and me, or would I?

I couldn’t dare to close my eyes and let my thoughs soar in the fear that they will come back worse.

“But no, everything is already at its worst” I told myself.

I opened the window now in a greater angle. The howling of wind is now louder and the wind itself is stronger. I grabbed a chair and stood up on it. I spread my arms and felt the coldness wrap my body. “I feel like flying” I said to myself. Along with my thoughts, probably. But the wind grew stronger. It pushed me back away from the window. And so, I decided to close it.

The place was cold even when the windows were closed. I got bored so I decided to move my feet and tour my body around. The moment I opened the door to the corridor, a mild, cold but deadly breeze washed my face. Only half the number of lights were open but that didn’t stop me from walking.

I was humming a random tune and sang on my mind. I didn’t know that the song of sadness and silence sound good.

I’m still alone.

It’s been an hour of walking, I found an open door. I entered the room. It’s very similar to the room I grew up. My bed’s the same, the stuffed toys were there too. The curtains that were tied up to the side looked familiar.They just seem new.

“No. It is my room. But how in the hell..”

Before I could even finish the sentence, the cabinet opened and a box fell.

“Hey, I remember that one” I said with a spooked voice.

It was the collection of the paper flowers I made few years back. There were also things that weren’t there before. But I’m sure those letters were from me. Suddenly, the whole box collapsed and blood covered it out of nowhere. It felt like time stopped as I watched everything got tinted by red.

I cried. Like the child I was years back. Like the child I already forgot but suddenly came back. But noone was there to comfort me. Still alone.

I tried to kill myself of misery. I ran back to my room but the corridor seemed endless. It seemed like I was running for years and I fell down on my knees. My head kissed the floor and my eyes blasted in to tears.

“I love her.”

As these words went out of my mouth unconsciously. My life faded.
And I fell into a deep sleep. A sleep where I’m lying awake now. A sleep that acts as anastesia. One that endure the unbearable pain for my heart.

But I’m stuck in a world that was stuck somewhere.

But I’m asleep. And I’m alone.


Posted: July 12, 2008 in Uncategorized
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by drewey

Mystified dazzle waxes my window, all of nights
Unresilient thoughts recede as the shine approaches, my eyes
That luster incites the deepest core, to sensationalize
Keep pouring your stardust all over from dear night skies!

Darkness devoured by light, it’s another rhythm
Of ropes of destinies tied up, so very random
Sparkles ignite the right strings,for glory and good
Keep my road shining, stardust, i know you could!

Oh stardust, please wrap my  body and soul
Oh stardust, please feel my warmth and join me whole
Don’t move away, don’t kill the shine
Stay with me, everything’s gonna be fine.

The dullest moments will be greater than rest
Cover me with your sparkle, together, we’ll pass all tests
Harden my feelings, burden-out my heart
Please my dear stardust, give me a chance to start!

Oh stardust, please wrap my  body and soul
Oh stardust, please feel my warmth and join me whole
Don’t move away, don’t kill the shine
Stay with me, everything’s gonna be fine.

Stay with me, everything’s gonna be fine.
Live with me, everything’s gonna be all right
Oh stardust, please keep that shine,
And I, I will be holding on to your light.

Everything will be fine. Everything is fine-


this song is for the person i like D: i hope it’s not that bad -_-

summer boredom

Posted: March 17, 2008 in ego, love, random-nes
Tags: , ,

let us start of with this.
if wordpress pays all the bloggers a penny for every thought they have,
I’d be richer by only 1 penny then D: there’s only one thing that’s in my mind right now. well what do you expect from some teen at home, got nothing to do, crippled, deeply in love(yes.. love..or, some other word.. I just want you to get a picture of it xD) with someone and unluckily, there’s no other way to talk to that someone (and see that someone either.. except for pictures.. ehem..multiply..ehem)..

I barely have the courage to stand still next to her, you think it’s possible to ask her out? =|

I seriously don’t have the courage to say these things to her. I may seem gay by doing this indirectly. But I know, by the time she (or should I address it as you. you know who you are. right?) reads this, she may feel a little awkward or a bit contraction of her zygomaticus muscles.. She doesn’t know exactly who I am. But I wish that through my posts. At least she has an idea.

Yes. Hopeless, Gay, desperate. An ass.

Maybe she thinks I’m crazy. Well the truth is she’s the one making me. I may get too cocky when bored but hey, I’m not always bored xD

Maybe she hates me for being so assertive. But isn’t that what we all supposed to bein order to survive? xD

I hope my assumptions are wrong

oh well. the purpose of this post, is to indirectly say to her how I feel towards her. How I’m so desperate to see much clearer things about her. I want to know her better. Then I could make her much happy.

I just want her to be happy >__> And what I want for myself?

Is to be just the one giving her happiness. That’s all I want for me.

I know it’s too early, but it isn’t my fault that my mind has matured quite fast. or is it?.. But my point is, in early things like these, bad endings are inevitable But as i’ve said, it’s not my fault.

Falling in love or adoring people is unavoidable too.  I already know that this early..

I like you. More than I love soccer.

And please, I hope It’s not a mistake posting this here.  D:

If you were C6, and i were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar…Forget hydrogen you’re my number one I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with U

i woke up 12 noon, as the way they do it, talking about people in love, the first thing that struck my mind was her. not my initial actions like brushing, washing my face, etc…

After i ate my breakfast,took a quick shower,  i opened my laptop and turned on the wifi so ill be emo with it the whole time on my bed. I tried to post something about the dorm stay i had experienced and the very tragic outbound. But i actually did nothing except wait. you know who i’ve been waiting for.

I turned off my computer and took a quick nap that lasted an hour. i took a bath, ate my dinner and once again on top of my bed. surprisingly, she was online for quite some time already. But same thing happened. the very same thing that happened few days ago. I became overexcited but speechless. I felt my heart pounding really hard. every time she types a word, it turns out to be pumping harder and harder. harder and harder.  till it reached the point where i decided to quit it and say bye instead. i became somehow very cocky but i know i did the right thing. Estelle, my friend of the day,  tried to help out but unfortunately for both of us, she’s already offline..

Brothers and sisters (gah, i believe im starting to sound like a gay priest talking about gay things, no offense), seriously, i know myself that i cant do it right without help and so ill be needing help from friends (e.g Estelle). Im really thankful btw..


Posted: December 9, 2007 in ego, love, random-nes
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what in the hell is love? well, i’m still 14, almost 15.but i guess my knowledge about it is already sufficient for this post.

for many and for inexperienced, love brings up pleasure and acts like a brain-affecting drug such as caffeinated coffee, caffeine itself, mj, etc. they say, everytime you’re with your loved one, you feel like the earth transforms into a paradise depicted in lovely picture books, the place where no one has ever been to; the heaven. Unfotunately for me, I  find it only partially true.

When you feel love, things get more sophisticated. And it’s already bad in it’s thought due to the fact that life itself is already complex, put love in, it’s chaos.

you guys might be wondrin why I seem to be against it while my latest posts are abt my lovelife. to answer it, seriously, i only post things that disturb me and after posting, i feel a great relief. tsktsk as for this, i just get too paranoid of the things that might happen all regarding my previous posts.