Posts Tagged ‘hardcore’

This week was like. Bullshit. From monday to friday, everything was just so bad that I thought the whole world was going against me. So just yesterday/today, I was thinking of dropping out of Pisay na (wooh kaya ko na mag- conio :>). D:

Seriously, you know the feeling when you get locked in a room full of all the things you hate combined, and there’s a real super small hole for escape? Then soon, you see more of the things you hate coming and the hole magically shrinks O:

I’m sure you don’t XD but yeah, I’m feeling sort of like that. I’m losing luck, initiation, reason to pursue, inspiration.. I’m losing my life. to stop me losing more of it, I feel like ending it right now :))) -_- i wanna dieeee..  D: (i hope it’s that easy D: )

What’s kind of surprising. I actually thought for a second that what if all of these are happening coz I don’t have any God. But that second passed. I still don’t think there is. Hey, what if I pretend there’s one? Would anything change? Can believing change this stupid week? Can it make my next week and all of the following weeks less shit? Hell, i dont think so.

I’m sick. I wish I know how to play dota. So at this level of depression, I have something to do to forget. Errr.. I mean something to make me remember how to be happy. Even just for a suuuupppppper tiny while. I’m sick of playing soccer. I love it. But everything is becoming more static as time goes oooon. See? Even the last of my favorite hobbies turns it’s back on me -_- or is it me? AAAAAGHR. I can’t understand what’s up. D:

I hate my position. I hate the way I see things. I hate the fact that everyone finds something that  makes him happy (even at the darkest days of his life). How come I don’t have any life. Why is it that I feel so alone, but I’m not wishing for people make me feel I’m part of something O: Can someone give me a life? Coz seriously I need one right now -_-

*sigh* and *more sighs*.

Personally, there’s no reason for me to stay. But I wouldn’t want to break my promise to my Lola, uncle and aunt.. that I won’t be any person like my father (who made SO MANY wrong decisions in life and sadly, I’m part of the wrong deeds)… I’m not scared of dropping out. I’m scared of what they would think, what’s gonna happen…

Certainly at this point, I don’t see hope anymore. I can’t just pull off happiness out of nothing? Even bad memories come back so sudden. I feel like cutting but that would be so corny and I’m scared of athena’s nipple-crunching hands (yeah, she told me not to or she’ll hurt my g-spalayok again. LOL) D: but is there any good way to get life moving? Or anything that would give me more energy to push this effing life (itsstuck) D: (Don’t worry I won’t hurt myself more than how this damned life hurts me. )

I’m not dropping out of school i guess. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be dropping out of life if this shit goes on.

oh yeah. You know how much I wanted the 8.1 magnitude earthquake to happen today. x_x that could have been a decent sudden no pain death for me D:


-prom D:

Posted: June 24, 2008 in ego, love, random-nes
Tags: , ,

parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo’y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw

-prom, by sugarfree

(amf.. me wants her, whoever she is D:  )

HARDCOAH topal :]

Posted: June 22, 2008 in ego, love, random-nes, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

gazebos? The place for the hot. Yeah!

But seriously. Throw away your negative impressions first and read this post.

Most of the non-Topal 2010 students think we’re barbaric assholes,we don’t care about others, arrogant about the stuff we have and accomplishments,  we don’t care at all as long as we’re happy and we don’t welcome anyone in our place.. But yeah. C’mon. We’re not as bad as what you think xD you know that.

Though, it’s undeniable that there were times some of these Gazebo people act so indecent. I admit it– I hate them when they do those, too…  But when they shout as if there’s no more tomorrow, when they laugh as if they have never laughed before.. C’mon. What’s bad about enjoying life. People have different methods of enjoying life right?

But what really makes us us?

We just respect people for who they are. And since we have similar preferences, we feel so comfortable in everybody’s presence and we do not backstab at all. One of the main factors of this bond we have is probably the gazebo itself.. Unlike the front lobby, where people are divided by separated and limited tables, the gazebo is just a small space where topal people try all ways for everyone to be accomodated, which results to bonds which enables us to share more insights and thoughts with each other. The location of gazebo also affects. Weather for example. We get the same feeling and we tend to act the same. Which implies that since we can work on small things, we might be capable of working heavier things out. Things like these…

BUT the main reason why we are what we are.. Is everyone of the topal people… We’re not like the front lobby coolboys(SOME, tamaan nalang ang maguilty xD) that backstab everyone just to get the satisfaction and superiority over others. We do not think indecent and sensitive things about others just the way these front lobby coolboys(SOME) do. We do not tell lies just to destroy one person’s image. For the sake of clarity, we are NOT like the coolboys. They’re cool, we’re hot. the exact opposite.

Last words from me… Don’t think we’re arrogant posers just because we have these and those things. We just want fun. And as long as we don’t do anything bad, do not try to play SHIT with any of my friends D: and if ever we did something to hurt you or your friends.. tell us.. everything can be worked out..