Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

This week was like. Bullshit. From monday to friday, everything was just so bad that I thought the whole world was going against me. So just yesterday/today, I was thinking of dropping out of Pisay na (wooh kaya ko na mag- conio :>). D:

Seriously, you know the feeling when you get locked in a room full of all the things you hate combined, and there’s a real super small hole for escape? Then soon, you see more of the things you hate coming and the hole magically shrinks O:

I’m sure you don’t XD but yeah, I’m feeling sort of like that. I’m losing luck, initiation, reason to pursue, inspiration.. I’m losing my life. to stop me losing more of it, I feel like ending it right now :))) -_- i wanna dieeee..  D: (i hope it’s that easy D: )

What’s kind of surprising. I actually thought for a second that what if all of these are happening coz I don’t have any God. But that second passed. I still don’t think there is. Hey, what if I pretend there’s one? Would anything change? Can believing change this stupid week? Can it make my next week and all of the following weeks less shit? Hell, i dont think so.

I’m sick. I wish I know how to play dota. So at this level of depression, I have something to do to forget. Errr.. I mean something to make me remember how to be happy. Even just for a suuuupppppper tiny while. I’m sick of playing soccer. I love it. But everything is becoming more static as time goes oooon. See? Even the last of my favorite hobbies turns it’s back on me -_- or is it me? AAAAAGHR. I can’t understand what’s up. D:

I hate my position. I hate the way I see things. I hate the fact that everyone finds something that  makes him happy (even at the darkest days of his life). How come I don’t have any life. Why is it that I feel so alone, but I’m not wishing for people make me feel I’m part of something O: Can someone give me a life? Coz seriously I need one right now -_-

*sigh* and *more sighs*.

Personally, there’s no reason for me to stay. But I wouldn’t want to break my promise to my Lola, uncle and aunt.. that I won’t be any person like my father (who made SO MANY wrong decisions in life and sadly, I’m part of the wrong deeds)… I’m not scared of dropping out. I’m scared of what they would think, what’s gonna happen…

Certainly at this point, I don’t see hope anymore. I can’t just pull off happiness out of nothing? Even bad memories come back so sudden. I feel like cutting but that would be so corny and I’m scared of athena’s nipple-crunching hands (yeah, she told me not to or she’ll hurt my g-spalayok again. LOL) D: but is there any good way to get life moving? Or anything that would give me more energy to push this effing life (itsstuck) D: (Don’t worry I won’t hurt myself more than how this damned life hurts me. )

I’m not dropping out of school i guess. But I’m pretty sure I’ll be dropping out of life if this shit goes on.

oh yeah. You know how much I wanted the 8.1 magnitude earthquake to happen today. x_x that could have been a decent sudden no pain death for me D:



Posted: June 25, 2008 in ego, love, random-nes, religion
Tags: , , ,

Time is like a teardrop. Tears are nothing more than a drop of laughter and happiness and sometimes depression. Each drop represents a life lost. One can’t put tears back into his eyes. Once they’re out. They’re out. Once it’s done. It’s done.

Tears wash away pain. Heartaches break out of one’s system, fade eventually and mix up with nothingness. Drops act like a spectrum. Teardrops are capable of expanding even just a piece of emotion.

A drop brings agony. A single ray cast into it colors everything gray. It acts like a jail warden, witnesses emotion come in, go out, and sometimes rot inside time’s jail.

Tears show love and hate, your affection and affectations, one’s competence and limitations. A drop shows weaknesses and strengths, how you live your life, how you mess it up.

Time is like a teardrop destined to fall. Whatever the purpose is, only the one who owns it knows it.

worship the sun!

Posted: April 9, 2008 in random-nes, religion


Posted: February 22, 2008 in ego, random-nes, religion, Uncategorized

this is quite controversial

There is an unpopular disease called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) wherein only few people who acquire this disease survive. But they still cannot escape the after effects. Memories which never happened to them, satanic ritual abuses where they were never part with, bug their mind all through out their lives. Is there actually a scientific explanation on this? Let’s say this disease is caused by a cerebral virus which attacks only a certain part of the brain, but do you think it’s possible to have this thoughts in mind that way?  is it simply we are actually involved in these rituals from the start? or maybe satan does exist. These, i cannot answer but ill try to dig it up with my opinion based stuff.

first, let’s see what this disease really is.

DID is a mental disease that creates unusual pulses in the head which makes the person feel gloomy and sometimes leads to a complete trauma. This disease is known also as the multiple identity disease wherein a person believes he has a lot of identities. If you try to analyze this, when the person claims that he has another identity, he’s view of the world is still the same. What changes is how he process each happenings.That means, the memories he has are just the memories he actually had. Now let’s say this person had been treated well and soon went well. Now he experiences the SRA (satanic ritual abuse).  We cannot consider this a hallucination due to the fact that all of the vital signs of the person is normal. That includes his body temperature, BP, etc.. But the only problem is the memory pulse in his head seems to be pounding to the point that his head would seem to burst. Pretend we just proved that the memory he has is actually unclassified and unexplainable. Where could have this memory come from?  this happens to all DID survivors.

Could it be this? While in state of DID where the person has no control of his body, unknown stuff appeared and took over his spirit for a while and did this SRA. And when the spirit returned to normal with its body, the spirit retains its tortured memory and now affects the human thinking. No wonder science couldn’t explain or prove this. Im not saying its true but it is a possibilty.

Another is the soul actually is part of the ritual itself. Maybe we are all part of it and this disease is not a ctually a disease but a sign of calling. This may sound scary but as i say, it’s a possibilty..

If we find this stupid, there’s no harm in actually considering possibilities. I just post what i think im the only one who thought of. And this is just my little introduction to the post im opening later. About satanism.

continue post later