Archive for December, 2008

Haha.

Posted: December 24, 2008 in Uncategorized

natupad yung wishlist ko..complete na xmas koooo haha.

Merry xmas! Happy holidays!! xP

Advertisements

Protected: drewey’s wishlist :3

Posted: December 24, 2008 in Uncategorized

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Hacking: almost successful

Posted: December 16, 2008 in Uncategorized

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

A glimpse of a world without darkness nor light

Not so long ago, I have seen an empty world. It was blacker than pitch black, brighter than anything else. Both my eyes wandered the horizon of nothingness. They rolled and craved for something, for anything. But it was empty. It was a world free of pain and happiness but seeing it gave me a feeling of breaking free. The pain was bigger than what I could bare. I was having a really strong mind distress. It was so strong that I could barely feel my body. I was struggling as if something was trying to keep me from breathing. I stayed in that state for a few minutes until one hemisphere of the world cracked open. The light was blinding. It was so bright that all the anguish I was fighting disappeared. The mental bruises I had were gone and left no traces. I thought it was over. I had finally awoken. But shockingly, it was just half of me. It was just my other eye who has escaped the grip of the empty world. It was back to it’s normal life. While the other, still fights for outflow. Withrawing the feeling, it was one of the most tragic feeling I have felt. Seeing two worlds at the same time was so dreadful. It took me few seconds to cool down and later on, I had finally realized that my other eye was blind. The moving pictures regained their sound. Everything was okay except for the eye. I waited for almost 10 minutes for my blind eye to recover, thank god it did. Though, after 10 minutes, it can’t see well(everything was blurry). After that, I made a lot of explanations but unfortunately, I can’t make the right one. I even thought that my spirit really was trapped between two worlds or my right eye just had a clotting since I had a bad sleep position that time. Either way, it was a trip I could never ever forget.

in someone’s boots

Posted: December 4, 2008 in Uncategorized

in someone’s boots

Post requested by Jufran Ersando. (spelling and grammar unchecked. notepad kasi e, gotta edit some other time.)

I can’t believe I’ve closed the door to sure felicity, consciously left the key and slammed it closed. I slammed it hard. Hard enough to think it was a gunshot, from a gun loaded with a dull bullet, trying to pierce my skin, my ears, my eyes, my whole body.. including my heart. That bang was louder than a thunder clap.

But no matter how much it wounded me, i couldn’t deny it, it was me who closed it anyway. It was me who strayed away from something I knew I would never regret in my life. I lied, but I never cheated. It was my descision, but I didn’t want it.

Now, look at me. Where am I? What am I now? I am trying to fix things. I’m now looking for that single door buried in a place with a million of its kind called life. I have entered a lot. And exited all of ’em. But I couldn’t understand why the pathways filled with doors seem so endless. But I know myself that the door I once left and rejected was the one that waits for me at the end of this hallway. I could not resist the temptation of opening the doors one by one with the hope of it’s you waiting for me in the other side.

Every single door, every single path I enter builds me up. Little by little I gain capacity for the million times larger rejection and pain I have caused you. Yes,could this be really a bright side? I’m afraid it’s not. It only makes me a mutant. A variation of myself that becomes immune to pain. But blind to the bruises I get from entering and escaping..

I’m losing hope. But I can’t afford to get stuck here. Please give me assurance. Please tell me, say it loud, that you’re there. That there’s still light. So that I could say to myself that all the blood I waste for crying is worth whatever that awaits me. Please or i’ll just bleed out my remaining hope and seriously fucking end this misery.. Please.

in someone’s havaianas

Posted: December 4, 2008 in Uncategorized

in someone’s havaianas

post requested by Lugz Vinuya (no time to check, in a rush xD)

As someone cornered in between the intense heat of two warring worlds, I have no option but to hide the scratches and trauma the explosions gave me. It really doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, I just lost my social skills what the fuck does that have to do with us? I like you but you think I’m an alien. You know me. I fucking know that. Don’t deny it coz it pains me. I may be different in a strange way, a way way far from the norm of yours.

Do you notice me in the window, when you wake up 6 in the morning? Do you notice me hiding in the trashbin inside your comfortroom when you take a bath at 7? You don’t! You fucking don’t coz you don’t care about me! That’s what you just do in your life, you always try to not notice me even though it’s given already that I’m special!

I liked you. I did stuff to impress you. I even sang your favorite song when I was in your room. But you didn’t appreciate anything, as in nothing? Oh please. Give me some effing break.

Your ignorance is killing me, can’t you see? Your blank stare gives me more reason to add more cuts to my collection. Your presence is a pure toxin I couldn’t resist to take in. You’re supposed to make me feel like living but instead, you make me feel more like, killing myself.

I hate you more than anything in both of our worlds. But I still can’t. I can’t force myself to not love you. And that makes me hate you more.

Pasensya na. Goodbye world.