family. damn it

Posted: February 24, 2008 in ego, random-nes, Uncategorized

I’m really pissed off. They don’t understand. Today’s a sunday. I’m not going to church. I do not want to. Why do they keep on saying “it’s just an hour to thank God.  so go to mass” What is the fucking purpose of going if I know myself that I don’t believe that there’s a HE that watches everything. That there’s a HE that  gives all these blessings. Damn it. Is it my fault im agnostic? I know that I have all the things that I want. Well, almost all. Why can’t I get them to understand me? I’m old enough to have my own philosophy. And besides… They’re not supposed to come in my life and say what and what I do not have to do. They have their own lives to live. I have my own. Is that hard to understand?

To be true. I don’t live with my dad. Or my mom. I’ve been with my grandparents and aunt and uncle since I was.. uhm.. since I was small. All these years, I lived peacefully. Until I changed. I started to be aware of everything. How my grandma’s sisters influence and control our lives, etcetera. I became aware that I have the capabilty of resistance and thus there’s no point of wasting it. I started then to see holes in  their beliefs. Though it took me a time and great effort to build up my own principle, and even though it’s not yet that concrete, I know that my philosophy is right. 

And regarding religion. There’s no faith. Faith doesn’t exist. People go to church.They pray and beg for mercy. They thank God so they can beg some more things. The pillars of religion stand by the power of fear and greed. I hope they get to understand this. That I have my own beliefs now. And they must never do shits against it. I’m really pissed off.

Yes. They gave me all the things that I have. But that’s not sufficient for them to give me too much pain and confusion. They’re causing me to think of things I’m not supposed to. They’re causing me to move farther making the gap among us bigger. What hurts the most is the more they try to impose things on me, the more they lose track of my feeling thus, making me feel I don’t belong. Guys. My family.

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Comments
  1. sympathy says:

    i’ve been having a bit of a problem with religion myself. let’s just say that i don’t have a future if i push through with my religion. i’m having doubts as to whether i can fucking go through all this any longer, because seriously, my dreams lie so fucking far away from the path that my religion is leading and i’m afraid if i don’t break away soon, i won’t have a future left.

    religion usually isn’t as complicated. you either have one or you don’t. usually. it doesn’t even matter if you’re good at practicing it or not. but what some people don’t seem to understand that there are people like us – caught between religion and family. it’s really hard when you were “born” into a certain religion. but people have to understand that nobody can be “BORN” into a religion. they have just as much a right to choose as anybody else has when they convert. i hate being born into a minority religion. it complicates my life horribly.

    hey, i may not be able to relate completely with you completely, but i understand to some point, and just want you to know…

    you’re not alone. 🙂

  2. drewey says:

    thanks..It feels better to know that.

  3. jaime says:

    Astig mark!!

    Yea, I do feel like i should be left alone sometimes. People get too pushy and bossy. And i don’t like that..

    But about religion, faith does exist.. For me at least.. It’s believing in God and what He can do.. You may criticize me for believing in all the stuff we learn from church, sunday school and christian education, but looking for an answer to what really happens to us after life, it always leads to the teachings of religion..
    Heaven, Hell.. I myself believe that there is no hell.. Only a state where we are put to the test. Here we tested if we really are ready to face God in Heaven..

    Before I took the entrance exam, I always prayed..
    And I don’t know if it really worked but I passed.. Something you wouldn’t expect from a lazy assed student who’s at 149th place in his old school..

    About fear.. I think it’s just because people believed in the power of God to take life away at any moment. Like in the cases of unknown chronic diseases that stike suddenly. How does it really happen? Maybe, just maybe.. It’s God’s fault.

    So He creates diseases and wants us to suffer? Why does He want us to suffer? Maybe it’s because you are a christian who is already straying too far from Him. Maybe it’s because He has seen your good deeds and wants to end your suffering.. If you really don’t believe in Him, then just leave all your Christian practices and forget about them.. (not directed at you mark :P,, you don’t have too many christian practices to begin with anyway..)

    Greed?
    We pray to thank God and sometimes, to ask for something.. But asking for something is wrong. That’s where greed comes in.. The right thing to do is ask for help and guidance for that specific thing.. I know it shit, but praying for something like, “God, please give me 1000..” is totally wrong.. Instead, “God, give me the right stuff to be able to earn 1000..”

    Well, that’s what I believe. I hope you won’t have too many fights with your family..

    -jaime
    (i was really bored :P)

  4. drewey says:

    haba comment ah xD.. anyway.. thanks.. I grew up in a very religious family, unfortunately. And I know how things work in this religion. I’m aware of it’s practices btw. And as for faith. If it exists, seriously, it exists because of fear and fear exists because of believing that HE exists which is a.k.a faith.

  5. jaime says:

    True.. But some religions started because of a search for answers, not because of fear alone..

    And I also want to add that, religion is a very complex thing and I think that it is something too advanced for us to try and comprehend.. Sometimes it is too much thinking that leads to misunderstanding..

    cge tc mehn..

  6. drewey says:

    now you mentioned it. in science, we found answers which contradict religion. that means you cant just say religion started to explain things coz that reason somehow turns to be invalid nowadays. The question is why still continue? yes religion is complex but once disproven, the whole thing drops dead. right? 😀 and those were other religion. not ours

  7. jaime says:

    Yes science has exposed some flaws in religions but it hasn’t disproven the whole thing yet. Neither can it completely defend it’s own theories..

    I think that eventually, science will disprove religion. But believing strongly in the things taught to me, I think that this would be Judgement Day.. God will get pissed at men for disproving His existence and will punish those who agree with science and save those loyal to Him..

    Just a thought..

    Why continue? Religion serves as a foundation for life and behavior.. Life may actually be better without it. But it can also be a lot worse without it.. Religion is kinda like a general belief where all of it’s members believe in the same God/gods etc.

    I have thought a lot about religion and I’ve always wanted to stop and be contented with what I already know about it.. I believe that Judgement is based on the person. I would rather live in an eternal paradise when I die rather than an eternal darkness..

  8. drewey says:

    Now that answer made me realise our difference. And I admire your principle but sad to say, it’s different from mine..

  9. jaime says:

    It’s ok..
    Everyone’s beliefs are different in some little way.
    We’re all unique..

  10. Al says:

    And as for faith. If it exists, seriously, it exists because of fear and fear exists because of believing that HE exists which is a.k.a faith.
    -Well, ibang faith siguro yan. Probably plastic na faith. Just because karamihan sa mga tao ganyan, ganyan na yung tunay na faith? Siguro ganyan yung mechanism kung pano magkaron ng maraming followers ang isang religion, pero kasalanan ba yun ng religion na yun na marami siyang followers? Kung may isang rock band na gumagawa ng mga kanta na maganda (regardless of whether mabenta or not), kasalanan ba nila na marami silang fans?

    The pillars of religion stand by the power of fear and greed.
    -Religion is popular because of fear. Yeah, di ko yan madedeny. Pero when people go to church because of fear, finofollow ba talaga nila yung religion nila? Hindi ba they’re just as non believers as you are, yung mga tao na religious because of fear? To start with, hindi sila yung tunay na followers ng religion na yun. Di natin mabablame sa religion yung fact na marami silang followers because of fear, blame mo yun sa mga followers (na hindi naman talaga followers). Pede mo na rin iblame yung religion mo (in this case the Catholic church), IF minodel nila yung religion nila so that maraming followers because of fear.

    Maybe marami ngang flaws sa Catholic church, pero marami pa namang religions sa mundo. Meron pang other variations of Christianity. Tapos marami pang iba, sobrang dami. Nakita mo na ba sila lahat? Can you say for sure na lahat ng religion is based on fear/greed? Yeah, probably some, but not all. We can’t say that we’ve seen and understood them all, so sa tingin ko di natin pedeng ijudge ang religion as a whole.

    LOL dami kong nasabi. Anyway hope it helps

  11. drewey says:

    wahh..intended ang post ko na to sa family problems D: anyway.. naguilty ako. bigla..parang lahat kayo banal.. tsktsk.. well kung titignan mo yung structure nung other religion, di ba against yun sa “rules” nung present religion natin xD tsaka stupid ng religion concept. sobrang dami ng religions pero either one out of all religions lang ang tama or none. Tsaka with this in mind, we do not need to know each religion just to say how funny the whole thing is.

  12. Al says:

    Yeah pero meron pa ring tama, so the concept itself di naman really stupid. More of yung other religions stupid, tapos yung only one na tama di stupid. Yeah yung rules ng other religions di nagaagree sa rules ng religion natin, so tignan nalang natin kung anong religion yung mali at kung ano tama (if ever).
    Binring up ko lang yung dami ng religions to justify bakit di natin pedeng ijudge yung religion as a whole, pati na rin di natin pedeng sabihin na lahat based on fear/greed.
    Btw, di ako Roman Catholic.

    Haha family problems. Yeah alam ko yung feeling pag di ka nila naiintindihan 😐

  13. Al says:

    P.S. di naman sa banal ako (di talaga ako banal :D), tinatry ko lang magargue against these two points:
    1. The pillars of religion stand by the power of fear and greed.
    2. And as for faith. If it exists, seriously, it exists because of fear and fear exists because of believing that HE exists which is a.k.a faith.

  14. drewey says:

    okayokay xD tsaka nakarefer naman most likely mga sinasabi ko sa religion namin eh =/ hahas..nvm basta.. gawa na lang ako bago post xD

  15. drewey says:

    to answer comment number 10.. you didn’t notice that the target of my posts about religion are the people that practice religion. so therefore when we say a religion is stupid, it directly affects the followers themselves. yes it’s true we can’t blame our own religions since they are just man made. we do not blame concepts,we blame the people conducting these concepts diba? and the funny thing about us, we know the flaws.. the sad truth is we can’t support them so we basically use faith just to give an excuse. and that’s the problem about faith. it’s hard to see the difference whether a person believes whole-heartedly, for fear or just for the sake of having faith. and it’s even harder to determine the type of faith during the times of confusion and doubts, or simply when we beg for what we want/need..

  16. Al says:

    Ahh my bad.

    Anyway point is:
    -masyadong maraming religions para sabihin na nagsastand by greed/fear.
    -masyadong maraming tao para sabihin na walang faith/lahat ng faith based on fear etc..

    Anyway nagcomment lang ako dun sa two points na yun kasi ini-involve na nun yung religion ko.
    Di ko na cinommentan yung ‘holes in their beliefs’ kasi di naman ako Catholic to start with =))

  17. karlosgwapo says:

    a lot have problems in religions too like you. going to mass is just like going to school we get used to go to school for 5 days but still that doesnt prove anyhing why we must not go to mass. I don’t want sometimes school is much of a priority these days

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