It’s been a while since I last posted in this blog. Heh. So i’m back!

I’ve always seen this blog as one of the best outlets I have. You know, when you have feelings at extremes? Heh, so now I felt like posting here. I’m feeling kinda down. but happy. Rofl, this blog isn’t really an emo blog. I’m just using it the way it’s supposed to be used. haha

SO. Sadness isn’t always negative for me. Why so?

First, it made me post here. Heh. (That’s not a bad thing? or is it? haha)
But seriously, I really missed posting. It felt like all my emotions crowded in my heart experience slow dissipation. Heh, you get what I say?

Have you experienced going on the roof then stand on the edge for a minute or so, feel the cold night breeze, think of all your problems then decide to jump off and land at the swimming pool then you swim 2-4 laps and you run around the house being chased by your own dog, you’re still wet and you stop then you cry? Jesus, ‘coz I haven’t. If only I can. God damn this so-irritating feeling. I just can’t get it off. I can’t express what I exactly feel for the person I kinda value the most (well, at least more than majority). I can’t say she hurts me for the fear that she’ll know and it’s going to be quite risk if she does. I might lose her. And that’s obviously not what I want to happen.

Obviously, this is getting too unhealthy for me. But still why not negative?

Sadness keeps me on track of what I really feel, especially towards the person or event that makes you feel sad. Sadness keeps you from confusion, unlike happiness. Not all the time you know what really makes you happy. It could be just the aura and a mix of events. But when you’re sad, you know the specifics. You know what makes you sad and you also know how much it does.

Sadness helps you evaluate yourself. When you’re happy, you’re on top of the world, you don’t have to think how to be a better person. ‘coz you don’t think about anything at all when you’re on top. But when you’re sad you feel like it’s the whole world that is on top of you. Therefore you crave for things to be better then you execute actions to make things better. Sadness does this. It just happens that out of complexity, you just can’t turn around things. This is when one quits, not by because of sadness but because that one can’t do a damn thing.

Sadness makes you human. Sadness reminds us of things we’re forgetting. Sadness reminds us that we actually care…or cared. Without sadness, life could be as meaningless as a an empty book or as a fish in space. Whatever. But at least you get the point? Be happy whenever you’re sad! Not because you want to be happy but for the fact that you are sad.

BTW, about the friend I was talking about earlier. I really do hope she realizes but doesn’t turn her back on me. I know she cares about me, as a friend though, but I can’t forget the fact that it’s going to be risky to the point that I might lose her. We’re currently not talking but she told me she was sad ‘coz of it. So I’m happy.

“Sadness isn’t sadness, but happiness in a black jacket”

Mood Ring, oh Mood Ring,
oh tell me will you bring the key
To unlock this mystery?
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand
The complex infrastucture known as the female mind

All I ever…

 by Me

I see the way that he treats you.

The way he talks to you, the things he makes you do

And I see the way you love him

Unconditionally, faithfully but blind

I hear the quarrels, the unspoken side of your fights

The whisper you moan while tears fall down your eyes

I hear silence between the beats, I hear something cry

I hear it mourn over the broken pieces, over the biggest lie

I smell the fragrance of obscurity and the way you pretend

The rottenness of the words that come out when you attempt to mend

There used to be a truth but I don’t see the point anymore

All I see now is hidden and planted as if there was something, as if there is

All I ever wanted is you to notice me, love me (To leave that zero and go with the hero!)

But all I ever see is nothing..

All I ever wanted is you to appreciate everything that I do

But all I ever see is nothing… and everything about you

I sense the grief coming next after sorrow which comes after sadness

And from you, I don’t sense any, care or a feeling of distress

How could you be so hard, you could just be my light?

Why would you waste everything, we could just be.. Just be

I know we can’t be, I am nothing compared to him

I know this is pointless and dull but this is all I have and all I can hold on to

I know I’m stupid enough to fall for someone like you

But I don’t want to know if you’re just mean enough to let me

It hurts when I remember the days I offered my hand

When I offered my shoulders for you to spill your tears on

You whisper a name, not mine, but someone else’s

Probably you wondered why I act like that, now you know

All I ever wanted is you to notice me, love me (To leave that zero and go with the hero!)

But all I ever see is nothing..

All I ever wanted is you to appreciate everything that I do

But all I ever see is nothing… and everything about you

————————————

made it in few minutes. I don’t know why  I wrote this type of poem but I just felt to do so.  Was it from my heart or not, I don’t know. Maybe I this is what I feel, maybe not..  And nobody knows :[

SPELLING BEE!

Atlantis Productions kicks off its 10th Anniversary Season with the Tony Award-winning musical comedy “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” which runs at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati from March 20 to April 4, 2009.
For “Spelling Bee,” Atlantis has gathered a stellar cast of some of the country’s finest musical theatre performers, including Joel Trinidad, Cathy Azanza, Carla Guevarra-Laforteza, Felix Rivera, Rycharde Everley, Noel Rayos, Thea Tadiar Everley, Johann dela Fuente and Pheona Baranda.
The musical is a hilarious tale of overachievers’ angst as it chronicles the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime. Through the course of the competition, they learn that winning isn’t everything and that losing doesn’t necessarily make you a loser.
Each night, “Spelling Bee” will also feature two audience volunteers and two surprise celebrity guests who will join the cast as on-stage guest spellers, making each night a truly unique and unforgettable experience.
“Spelling Bee” is directed by Bobby Garcia. Choreography by Chari Arespacochaga, set design by Tuxqs Rutaquio, lighting design by Johnsy Reyes, costume design by Twinkle Zamora and musical direction by Jojo Malferari.
For tickets to the March 28 (Saturday) 2 pm show and the April 3 (Friday) 8 pm show please text or call 09062703053.
Here’s the link to the homepage:

http://www.atlantisproductionsinc.com/

hahaha

natupad yung wishlist ko..complete na xmas koooo haha.

Merry xmas! Happy holidays!! xP